There's knowing of someone and knowing someone.

A few years ago I took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class and it changed my life. Since then I have paid off my credit cards, student loan, bought a car with cash, replaced my hot water  heater, air conditioner & blower, gone on a few major vacations and I'm debt free! Its awesome! I had lived for years just a bit in the red. Now I teach his Foundations in Personal Finance to my high school kids. They don't love it because its more math but I keep telling them I'm changing their lives.

Now I could read all of Dave's books, listen to his radio show and teach his program for years and I can know all about Dave and his financial principals but I don't KNOW Dave. We aren't friends. If I need advice I can't call him on the phone to ask him for help. He isn't training how to make good financial decisions. Someday some situation might come up that Dave's rules don't really cover. I'm not growing into a financial wizard. I have some good knowledge but there are things Dave gets that I don't.

Similarly I can love a famous person, I'll pick Hugh Jackman- because I think he's amazing. I can read every article written, watch every interview, read biographies, follow him on Fb and twitter. I can know every publicly made fact but I don't KNOW Hugh. I've never met him. He doesn't know my name. He won't show up to help me move. I know OF him but I don't know him.

So how is this like God?

God wants us to be in RELATIONSHIP with Him. I can read the bible, go to church, listen to podcasts and know all ABOUT God but if I don't let The Spirit in, get to know God relation-ally, its going to fall apart. God wants us to talk TO him, not just ABOUT him. He wants us to let him guide our future, not just ask Him if the plan we've made is ok with Him.

There's a reason He doesn't give us a road map, show us his long term plan. If we knew the way we wouldn't need to talk to Him. If I knew the long term plans he has for me I wouldn't need God. He made us to be in community with Him.

If we know about God we can do a lot of good. We can learn what he wants from us and we can act "correctly." I can make a great impression of a Godly person without ever talking to God. The Bible leaves a good description of what it looks like to be a "good christian." But being a "good christian" isn't what God wants from us. Just like a parent doesn't just want "good kids." We want our kids to sit in our lap so we can read them a story. We want to teach them, guide them, love them. I don't just want robot children who say "yes Mommy" and always behave well but don't love me. I want to love them and I want them to love me.

God doesn't just want us to ACT like we love Him, he wants us to love him. He wants us to trust him. He wants to guide us but in order for that to happen we have to learn how to talk to Him and listen for Him.

I recently watched a podcast where a woman told a story about watching a shepherd with his sheep walking through the desert. The sheep all walk in a straight line while the shepherd zig zags through them knocking rocks aside. The woman asks someone what he's doing. The person explained that grass doesn't grow well in the desert, it grows under rocks. The shepherd goes along knocking rocks aside to reveal small amounts of grass for the sheep to eat. When we read Psalm 23 we think of a lush field where we can eat all we want. but what if that's not what is meant? What if God leads us through the desert just giving us a mouthful of grass at a time to keep us close to Him?

It can be really frustrating when God doesn't give us the big picture, a set of rules to follow. But what if He does that so that we stay in relationship with Him? When we allow the Spirit to guide us we stay close to Him. Its scary. Its frustrating. It teaches us trust. Its exciting too. Its an adventure.

Ender's Game and God's Plan

I recently watched the movie Ender's Game. If you haven't seen it and want to be surprised don't read this blog.

For those of you who don't love sci-fi just hang in there. Here is a little synopsis for those who haven't read the book or seen the movie. I have only seen the movie so please pardon me if its different from the book.
In the movie a boy named Ender is being trained to battle an alien race called the Formics. At one point in history the Formics came to earth where a terrible battle occurs. Hundreds of thousands died so earth has started training for the event when the Formics return. Ender is a boy genius. He manages to quickly make his way through the ranks and toward the end of the movie they move him to a training station very near the Formics planet. Ender and his team train constantly. One day Ender is told that they have graduated to their final test.
In order to pass the test Ender is challenged to obliterate the Formics. His team has this monster weapon that is very lethal but takes time to recharge after it is fired. There are thousands of drones, little planes with some basic fire power, that Ender and his team also have but they can only kill one little plane at a time. Ender has all the drones surround the giant weapon to protect it so that he can accomplish his goal of destroying the planet. The drones take the hits as the monster weapon recharges. The generals are amazed and at first angry because by surrounding the big weapon the drones abandon their shuttle crafts which get destroyed. Thousands of "good guys" die because Ender doesn't protect them, instead he focuses on winning the overall battle. His genius at seeing the big picture is what it takes to be victorious. He destroys the entire Formic planet.
Now this is where this analogy is going to concentrate. For those who know the whole story there isn't anything godly about what happens next except for Ender's selflessness in trying to save the Formic species.

Now for the How Does This Relate To God part.
God sees the big picture. Our view is so infinitesimally myopic. We are like the drones, we only see just what is around us. If my commander tells me to surround the big weapon and sacrifice myself to save it my response might be "hey, what about me?" But God sees the whole problem. He has an end game in sight. His end game is quite opposite of Enders, instead of destroying as many as possible His goal is to save as many as possible. He may need me to sacrifice myself, my comfort, my goal in order to attain His. He may also be positioning me for something that he sees coming down the pike that I am currently unaware of.

I may pray for something and it may not happen. This might cause me to think God doesn't care about me or that He isn't powerful. But that's because I'm only seeing a small piece of the picture. Add to that people and angels with free will and He has quite a puzzle to put together. He would love to bless us with our prayers but maybe my prayer goes against the mission at large. Maybe my prayer will throw off someone else coming to know Christ. Or maybe the enemy is also battling against the thing that I want to happen. God can't always go around breaking the rules and depriving people and spiritual beings of their free will so that I get my blessing.

I am not the main character in this story. Lets go back to Ender's game. Imagine I'm a soldier named Bob. What would happen if Ender commanded Bob to surround the big weapon and Bob said "No way man! That's a suicide mission for me." Then other drones would see me and say "Yeah, I don't want to die, let me hang out here where its safe and let other people go to battle." Those of us watching the movie would be like "What a jerk!" The battle would be lost.

I am not to author of The Story of the world. I'm not even a main character. In the credits of history, I'm going to be the guy listed eight minutes into the credits in a paragraph full of names called "extras." No one will be looking me up on IMDB. Its not about what I want all the time. (If this sounds crazy you should definitely look in to the study called Story Formed Life- it will change your life.) When I go and do my own thing I am probably going against the Mission At Large. I'm that stupid guy in the movie that is gumming up the works.

So when you don't understand why God is or isn't doing something we just have to trust that he has a Big Picture Mission. He sees it all and is trying to adjust the outcomes of our decisions to fulfill His Mission. Fortunately, like a good movie, we know that the good guy will win in the end. He has foreshadowed the end and there is a victory coming. Unfortunately there is a battle raging and we are caught in the middle of it. As in all battles there are casualties. Sometimes we will catch a stray bullet or have to sacrifice our selves or our comfort toward the war effort.

Wild dogs versus pets.

I'm a dog lover. I had a dog named Mister for 14 years. He was a big Irish Setter with a sweet temperament and a loud bark. When I first moved into my house I fenced in the back yard so that Mister could have free reign back there. I also put a gate on my front porch because Mister was a runner.

There used to be this cat that loved to sit about ten feet away from the fence and just look at Mister. Mister would bark and bark at that stupid cat and I'm sure in that moment he was cussing that fence. But what Mister may not have realized is that fence gave him freedom and protection. Because he was a runner I never could trust Mister to just go out and do his thing without being attached to a leash. Because of the fence he had the freedom to roam the back yard. The fence kept out other animals that might attack him. It kept him from getting lost, stolen, hit by a car.

I eventually realized he could be trusted while I wasn't home. This changed our lives (for Mister, more than me.) Now I could leave him outside while I was at work. I'm a teacher and a coach so sometimes I'm gone for 12 hours at at time. I would just leave Mister out in the morning with some food and water and not have to worry about him making a mess. He LOVED to be outside.

Sometimes in the heat of the summer or frozeness of the winter I would not let him out. He didn't like that at all! I had to box out to keep him from rushing out as I left. But I was protecting him because I realized it wasn't good from him to be out in that weather.

As a pet Mister had it pretty good. He was well fed. We walked almost daily. He had a safe, comfortable place to sleep - in bed with me. I took him to the vet regularly to keep him healthy. I loved on him.

Now a wild dog might have seen Mister and thought he had it pretty bad. The wild dog would scoff at a fence because it prevents her from going where she wants. As a wild dog she doesn't have to worry about being told what to do, chasing stupid balls, getting baths, getting shots, eating boring dog food. She can chase any cat she wants. She has no rules. Total freedom.

But is total freedom what is really best? See being a pet is a lot like being a child of God. When we are in His family we are watched after, guided, loved. God sets boundaries for us that we might not like: don't sleep around, don't talk badly about others, don't steal, don't kill, give your money away. In the moment we might not like these rules. We might wish for total freedom to do whatever we want.
What the stray dog doesn't like to think about are the perils she faces that Mister never had to worry about. She has to worry about being attacked by other dogs or people.  She might get hit by a car. When the weather is bad she suffers through it. She doesn't know where her next meal is coming from. When she gets sick she just suffers.

You see, rules are boundaries just like my fence was for Mister. They protect us from harm either from outside forces or from our own destruction. Maybe we can't do what we want but we know who we are. We are loved by the One who created the entire universe just by SPEAKING. We know that our future in (what I like to call) Super Heaven is secure.  He feeds us. He guides us. He protects us.

So which would I rather be? A pet for sure! I want to be loved and cared for. Freedom isn't all its cracked up to be.

God is the best dance partner ever. Now if we can just be the best follower - oh how much better life can be!

I am a ballroom dancer. As a lady I am typically a follower. I've noticed there are a lot of similarities to following a guy in say a Waltz as there are to following God. On the dance floor the better I learn to follow and more I relax the better the dance. Spiritually, following Him better means I am getting closer to Him and then closer to what His plan for me is. (Which is WAY better than plans I make for myself)

Wait for the lead: I tend to rush and anticipate as a dancer. This becomes a problem because I move before I'm supposed to and that often spoils what the guy was going to do as I get myself out of position or momentum takes me in the wrong direction. But when I wait a few good things happen.
1. I have time to finish my move and really get to milk it for all its worth.
2. I leave myself in a position the guy wants me and then I am poised to go where he wants me to go next instead of spoiling his plan. Its really great to dance with someone who knows more than I do but if I anticipate what I think the guy is going to do and start a move I already know, I miss out on a new move that could have been really cool.
How is this like a relationship with God? When I wait for Him to tell me what He has planned I get the opportunity to live in the moment instead of trying to anticipate and guess what He wants from me in the future. If I spend all my time and energy trying to divine what He might want me to do next I don't enjoy the present and maybe He wants to bless me with joy right now. We can easily get caught up in planning the future and then miss out on the present.
I also keep myself in a position to do what He wants. If I go running off to do what I think He might want me to do I gyp myself out of cool experiences because I am in the middle of my own thing.

Stay connected: I've been dancing almost eleven years now. Somewhere near year three I learned how to dance with body contact. My hip/core stays attached to the guy. When we are connected I can feel what he is doing so much better. I get stepped on a lot less. We move as one. Not only can I feel the lead so much better but we move as one this way because there isn't a lag between his initiation and my reaction.
How is this like a relationship with God? The closer we connect ourselves to God the better we can hear and understand Him. When I stay connected to Him through reading, sermons, bible studies and prayer there is less guesswork between what He communicates and what I do. I trust what He is telling me because I can feel that its right. If I only check in sometimes I don't hear his leadings and miss my cues.

Pay attention to your partner: I LOVE dancing. My friends say I have a "dance face." I have been told its what joy looks like. I can easily get caught up in having fun and really feeling the music. The problem is sometimes I get so caught up in having fun and thinking about what I'm doing that I don't pay attention to my guy. When this happens I miss out on cues and leads though. Its pretty selfish actually. Its like I'm using the guy for leads but I'm not dancing WITH him, I'm dancing NEAR him.
How is this like a rerelationship with God? I can say I'm a Christian and do lovely "christian things." But if I'm just doing my own thing and not paying attention to God I'm being really selfish. Eventually its going to break down because I'm going to get caught up in doing good so I look good, not so He looks good.

 Dancing is better with a partner: I could get out there and bump and grind or break out The Sprinkler but dancing with a partner is SO MUCH BETTER! As a follower, I am not responsible to think of the moves. When I get to dance with someone better than me I get to learn new moves. He's responsible for timing, not running us into anyone and thinking of good moves. I can just trust him (hopefully). He has to be the creative one. Yet I still have some room for creativity too.
How is this like a relationship with God? Life is better with God. He is responsible to steer me where I should go. My view of life is pretty myopic while His is so vast. He can see what I can't which puts him in a better place to lead me. He is responsible to protect me. When things aren't going well I can ask him for help and wisdom. I'm not responsible to save the world. I could go it alone and not have to worry about anyone else. I tried living this way and it was so lonely and meaningless. I hated it.

He suggests, not forces. A good leader suggests where I should go and doesn't bully me into the move. I hate dancing with a guy who forces me to do something. It can be painful and awkward.
How is this like a relationship with God? God suggests where we should go but he doesn't force us. He doesn't want a bunch of Stepford Wives/ robots, he wants loving children. He offers us suggestions but doesn't MAKE us do His will. He wants us to have free will so we can choose to love Him. Who just wants a robot that is recorded to say "I love you. Yes, I will do whatever you want?" That's not love. He wants us to choose to follow Him out of love, not fear or force.